I have been sitting a lot with edge-walking and what it means to step to your edge without going over it. Going to the edge of discomfort usually means there is a breakthrough on the horizon, and if we can approach that edge with grace and spaciousness we come out the other side even more expansive and open to receiving. We also learn some things about embracing the mystery, self-trust (and trust in the Divine) and self-awareness. And we find out that perhaps we have been spending energetic time and space being afraid of something that actually turns out to be a whole lotta fun, or catapults us towards our heart and soul desires.
In 2017 my big work was to embrace the mystery and let go of trying to control everything. I had no business goals and tasks. My desire was to start and complete my Intentional Creativity training and create the spaciousness to embark upon the deep inner work and fortitude that was going to require. By the summer, I knew this work was going to bring me to my edge of visibility, and that I could no longer keep my gifts and my vision to myself, so I decided to open Amused Woman Studios, even though opening a brick and mortar studio was not on my goal list for 2017 (although it had been a 20 year vision).
I am not going to lie this was the scariest thing I have done in my entire small business career.
This was not looking over the edge of a curb, it was looking over the edge of a cliff. Inner critic, fear of loss of freedom, finances, time were all things that came up for me. So how was I going to approach this major decision with grace and ease, and send my inner controller packing? Through nourishing my branches of self-trust and self-awareness, by getting quiet and asking the Muse, by creating spaciousness and by creating art, and my telling my Inner Critic controller that I thanked her for trying to protect me, but that I did not need her for this decision, and she could take a much needed vacation. By being self-aware enough to discern between being at my edge and being in chaos.
When I made the spaciousness and got quiet enough to ask my Inner Muse what she thought, and to put total trust in her answer this is what she said (my Muse curses like a truck driver so pardon me):
What the fuck else do you have to do? If you don't share your gifts and build a community it would be an act of disservice to yourself and your beloveds!
Well, she certainly told me; didn't she? This year my edge walking is a little less scary but still there are deep heart and soul desires I have, that will not happen without walking the edge. That is how you know that your heart and soul desires are in resonance. A little scary, very exciting, risky, wild, and a lot of letting go of outcomes. For me this year is continuing to be visible, continuing to build the community, continuing to create curriculum and share some wisdom. My comfort zone is teaching in-person, to women in the flesh, whose energy is palpable, my discomfort is talking to a camera. But in the last two weeks, I filmed an online summit with 22 other healers, creatives and visionaries (more deets on that coming soon) and I filmed a class in studio with a professional videographer. That is my edge. But I trusted, and when it was all said and done, I had a blast doing it. I would never have known how much I actually enjoyed it unless I stepped to my edge with grace and trust in myself.
Stepping to your edge, knowing how to trust the voice of your Inner Wisdom also takes creating some spaciousness. There is a balance between being external in order to share your gifts with the world, and going inside to listen and receive information so you actually have something to share. Your Inner Wisdom will not steer you wrong, if you give her the mic every once in a while...preferably every day, several times a day, checking in with her to be sure your actions, and the "to-do" list are those things that align with your heart and soul desires, and if they don't you may have to say NO to some things. I am looking at my calendar this week, and already know I will have to say no to some things (despite FOMO) in order to have the spaciousness to let the Muse take the reigns and work on one of my big Heart and Soul Desires for this year.
I would like to know what you will do this week to create spaciousness to let your Inner Wisdom speak and inform your Heart and Soul Desires? How can I help you nourish your dreams into blossoms, and develop your self-trust and self-awareness so you can discern between being at your edge of discomfort without going over it?